My Notes on Insight by Tasha Eurich

My Notes on Insight by Tasha Eurich 

The Seven Pillars of Insight outlined in the document are:

1. Values – The principles that guide how we live and make decisions.
2. Passions – What we love to do and what energizes us.
3. Aspirations – What we want to experience and achieve in life.
4. Fit – The environment we need to be happy and engaged.
5. Patterns – Our consistent ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving across situations.
6. Reactions – The thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that reveal our capabilities, especially under stress.
7. Impact – The effect our behavior has on other people.

In the Anatomy of Self-Awareness, the Seven Pillars of Insight act as a structured framework to help individuals understand themselves deeply and make better life and career choices. Here’s how each pillar contributes:

1. Values – They define the principles that guide your decisions and behavior. Knowing your values helps you align actions with what truly matters, reducing internal conflict and increasing fulfillment.

2. Passions – Identifying what energizes you ensures you pursue activities and careers that bring joy and motivation, preventing burnout and disengagement.

3. Aspirations – Clarifying what you want to experience and achieve gives direction and purpose, helping you set meaningful goals rather than chasing superficial success.

4. Fit – Understanding the environment where you thrive (e.g., collaborative vs. competitive, structured vs. flexible) allows you to choose workplaces and relationships that boost energy and satisfaction.

5. Patterns – Recognizing consistent ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving helps you spot habits that serve you—or sabotage you—so you can reinforce the good and change the bad.

6. Reactions – Observing how you respond under stress or pressure reveals strengths and weaknesses, enabling better emotional regulation and resilience.

7. Impact – Knowing how your behavior affects others improves relationships, leadership, and influence. It fosters empathy and trust, which are critical for collaboration and success.

Together, these pillars create a 360° view of self-awareness—internal clarity (values, passions, aspirations, fit) and external perspective (patterns, reactions, impact). This dual insight helps individuals make smarter decisions, build stronger relationships, and lead more effectively.

1. Visual Framework

The image above shows the Seven Pillars of Insight and their benefits:

• Values → Align actions with guiding principles
• Passions → Pursue energizing activities
• Aspirations → Set meaningful goals
• Fit → Choose compatible environments
• Patterns → Spot consistent habits
• Reactions → Improve emotional regulation
• Impact → Understand interpersonal effects

2. Reflection Worksheet

Here are practical questions for each pillar:

Values

• What principles guide your decisions and actions?
• When have you felt proud of living your values?
• Which values do you want to strengthen in your life?

Passions

• What activities make you feel energized and fulfilled?
• When do you lose track of time because you enjoy what you’re doing?
• What passions have you neglected that you’d like to revive?

Aspirations

• What do you truly want to experience and achieve in life?
• If success was guaranteed, what would you pursue?
• What small steps can you take toward your aspirations today?

Fit

• What environments help you thrive (work, home, social)?
• Where do you feel most energized and authentic?
• What changes could improve your current environment?

Patterns

• What behaviors or habits do you notice repeating in your life?
• Which patterns help you succeed and which hold you back?
• How can you interrupt an unhelpful pattern?

Reactions

• How do you typically respond under stress or pressure?
• What triggers strong emotional reactions for you?
• What strategies help you manage your reactions effectively?

Impact

• How do your actions affect the people around you?
• What feedback have you received about your impact on others?
• What can you do to create a more positive impact?

Reflection Worksheet: Seven Pillars of Insight with Examples

Use this worksheet to explore each pillar of insight and deepen your self-awareness. Each question includes an example answer to guide your reflection.

Values

·       What principles guide your decisions and actions?

Example: I value honesty, so I always strive to be truthful even in difficult situations.

Notes:

___________________________________________________________

·       When have you felt proud of living your values?

Example: I refused to compromise on quality at work even when pressured to cut corners.

Notes:

___________________________________________________________

·       Which values do you want to strengthen in your life?

Example: I want to strengthen empathy by listening more actively to others.

Notes:

___________________________________________________________

Passions

·       What activities make you feel energized and fulfilled?

Example: Designing creative solutions for clients excites me.

Notes:

___________________________________________________________

·       When do you lose track of time because you enjoy what you’re doing?

Example: When I’m painting or brainstorming new ideas.

Notes:

___________________________________________________________

·       What passions have you neglected that you’d like to revive?

Example: Playing the guitar, which I used to love but stopped practicing.

Notes:

___________________________________________________________

Aspirations

·       What do you truly want to experience and achieve in life?

Example: I want to travel to 10 countries and learn about different cultures.

Notes:

___________________________________________________________

·       If success was guaranteed, what would you pursue?

Example: I would start my own non-profit organization to help underprivileged children.

Notes:

___________________________________________________________

·       What small steps can you take toward your aspirations today?

Example: Research volunteer opportunities and start networking with like-minded people.

Notes:

___________________________________________________________

Fit

·       What environments help you thrive (work, home, social)?

Example: I thrive in collaborative environments where ideas are openly shared.

Notes:

___________________________________________________________

·       Where do you feel most energized and authentic?

Example: When working outdoors or in creative spaces.

Notes:

___________________________________________________________

·       What changes could improve your current environment?

Example: Adding quiet time for focused work and reducing unnecessary meetings.

Notes:

___________________________________________________________

Patterns

·       What behaviors or habits do you notice repeating in your life?

Example: I tend to procrastinate on tasks that feel overwhelming.

Notes:

___________________________________________________________

·       Which patterns help you succeed and which hold you back?

Example: Planning ahead helps me succeed, but overthinking slows me down.

Notes:

___________________________________________________________

·       How can you interrupt an unhelpful pattern?

Example: Break large tasks into smaller steps and set deadlines for each.

Notes:

___________________________________________________________

Reactions

·       How do you typically respond under stress or pressure?

Example: I become quiet and withdrawn instead of asking for help.

Notes:

___________________________________________________________

·       What triggers strong emotional reactions for you?

Example: When I feel my efforts are not appreciated.

Notes:

___________________________________________________________

·       What strategies help you manage your reactions effectively?

Example: Taking deep breaths and reframing the situation before responding.

Notes:

___________________________________________________________

Impact

·       How do your actions affect the people around you?

Example: My tendency to interrupt can make others feel unheard.

Notes:

___________________________________________________________

·       What feedback have you received about your impact on others?

Example: Colleagues say I bring positive energy to meetings.

Notes:

___________________________________________________________

·       What can you do to create a more positive impact?

Example: Practice active listening and acknowledge others’ contributions.

Notes:

___________________________________________________________

3 Major Blindspots

Three major blindspots that hinder self-awareness and explains how to overcome them:

1. Knowledge Blindness

• What it is: We assume we know more than we actually do. Our judgments about specific abilities often rely on general beliefs rather than objective performance. For example, thinking “I’m good at geography” leads us to believe we aced a geography test—even if we didn’t.
• Why it matters: Overconfidence can lead to poor decisions, like choosing unsuitable careers or ignoring mistakes.
• How to overcome it:
  • Question assumptions: Regularly compare predictions with actual outcomes (Peter Drucker’s method).
  • Pre-mortem analysis: Imagine a future failure and write its history to uncover hidden risks.
  • Commit to continuous learning: The more you think you know, the more you need to learn.
  • Seek feedback: Surround yourself with people who will tell you the truth.

2. Emotion Blindness

• What it is: We misjudge our emotions and let them drive decisions without realizing it. For instance, when asked “How happy are you with life?” we often answer based on our current mood, not overall life satisfaction.
• Why it matters: Decisions made from unrecognized emotional states can derail careers and relationships.
• How to overcome it:
  • Name your emotions: Labeling feelings reduces their intensity and helps regain control.
  • Ask “What” instead of “Why”: “What am I feeling right now?” is more productive than “Why do I feel this way?”
  • Practice mindfulness: Notice thoughts and feelings without judgment to avoid impulsive reactions.

3. Behavior Blindness

• What it is: We fail to see how our actions come across to others—even when we watch ourselves on video. This blindspot persists because self-observation doesn’t guarantee objectivity.
• Why it matters: Misreading our behavior can damage relationships and reputations.
• How to overcome it:
• Get external feedback: Others almost always see what we can’t.
• Reality checks: Ask trusted people for honest input.
• Perspective-taking: Imagine how your actions look from another person’s viewpoint.
• Experiment with new behaviors: Detect patterns and try different responses to improve outcomes.

1. What is Internal Self-Awareness?

Internal self-awareness is seeing yourself clearly from the inside out. It means having an inward understanding of:

• Values (principles that guide you)
• Passions (what you love to do)
• Aspirations (what you want to achieve)
• Ideal environment (where you thrive)
• Patterns (consistent ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving)
• Reactions (how you respond under different circumstances)
• Impact on others (how your behavior affects people around you)

People high in internal self-awareness make choices aligned with who they truly are, leading to happier and more satisfying lives. Those low in it often act in ways that conflict with their true goals and values.

2. Myths and Truths of Internal Self-Awareness

The book debunks several myths and clarifies truths:

Myths (Follies)

1. Myth: Introspection = Insight

   • Common belief: Thinking deeply about yourself improves self-awareness.
   • Reality: Excessive introspection often increases stress, anxiety, and confusion rather than clarity. 

2. Myth: Asking “Why” Helps

   • People assume asking “Why am I like this?” leads to answers.
   • Reality: “Why” questions trap us in rumination and victimhood. They stir negative emotions and rarely produce actionable insight.

3. Myth: Journaling Always Works

   • Belief: Writing about your thoughts automatically improves self-awareness.
   • Reality: Journaling can backfire if it becomes repetitive or self-absorbed. It works only when focused on learning and growth, not endless venting.

4. Myth: Therapy Guarantees Insight

• Belief: Therapy always uncovers the truth.
• Reality: It helps only when focused on actionable patterns and flexible thinking—not on digging for one absolute cause.

Truths

• Ask “What,” not “Why”
  Example: “What can I do to respond better?” instead of “Why am I like this?” This keeps you curious and future-focused.

• Mindfulness beats over-analysis
  Observing thoughts without judgment helps avoid rumination and improves clarity.

• Self-awareness is a journey, not a destination
  There’s no “perfect insight.” The goal is continuous learning and adjustment.

Key steps to improve internal self-awareness:

1. Identify Your Target Areas

• Rate your satisfaction across different life spheres (e.g., career, relationships, health).
• Circle one or two areas where you feel least satisfied—these become your focus zones.
• Reflect on what’s keeping you from success and what changes could help.

2. Study the Seven Pillars of Insight

• Work with a trusted friend or colleague.
• For each pillar (values, passions, aspirations, fit, patterns, reactions, impact), describe how you see yourself.
• Ask the other person how they see you in those areas.
• Compare similarities and differences, then note what you learned and how you’ll act on it. 

3. Practice Internal Self-Awareness Tools

Experiment with these proven techniques:

• What Not Why: Ask “What can I do?” instead of “Why am I like this?”
• Comparing and Contrasting: Spot patterns by reviewing past vs present experiences.
• Reframing: Look at challenges from a new perspective.
• Hitting Pause: Step away and distract yourself to regain clarity.
• Thought-Stopping: Interrupt negative loops with a mental “Stop!”.
• Reality Checks: Seek objective input from trusted people.
• Solutions-Mining: Focus on actionable solutions instead of problems.

4. Use Mindfulness

• Practice noticing your thoughts and feelings without judgment.
• This can be through meditation or non-meditative activities like walking, journaling, or simply observing your environment.
• Mindfulness helps you stay present and avoid rumination.

5. Explore Your Life Story

• Write your life as a series of chapters and key events.
• Identify themes, patterns, and lessons across your experiences.
• This helps connect past influences to present behaviors and future goals.

6. Set Growth Goals

• Translate insights into actionable goals.
• Focus on learning and development rather than perfection.
• Use tools like the Miracle Question to envision your desired future and steps to get there.

Structured 7-day action plan

A structured 7-day action plan to improve internal self-awareness, based on the steps and tools from Insight:

Day 1: Set Your Baseline

Goal: Identify where you stand.

• Exercise: Rate your satisfaction (1–10) in key areas: career, relationships, health, personal growth.
• Action: Circle 1–2 areas with the lowest scores. These are your focus zones.
• Reflection Question: What feels most out of alignment with who I want to be?

Day 2: Clarify Your Values

Goal: Understand what truly matters.

• Exercise: List your top 5 values (e.g., integrity, creativity, family).
• Action: For each, write one example of how you lived that value last week.
• Reflection Question: Where am I living out of sync with my values?

Day 3: Discover Passions & Aspirations

Goal: Connect with what energizes you.

• Exercise: Write down activities that make you lose track of time.
• Action: Ask: What do I want to experience or achieve in the next 5 years?
• Reflection Question: What patterns do I see in what excites me?

Day 4: Practice “What Not Why”

Goal: Shift from rumination to insight.

• Exercise: When facing a challenge, replace “Why” with “What.”
  • Example: Instead of “Why am I stuck?” ask “What can I do to move forward?”
• Action: Journal 3 “What” questions about your current focus area.
• Reflection Question: What new options do I see now?

Day 5: Mindfulness Check-In

Goal: Stay present and observe without judgment.

• Exercise: Spend 10 minutes noticing your thoughts and feelings without reacting.
• Alternative: Go for a walk without your phone; observe surroundings.
• Reflection Question: What emotions or thoughts came up most often?

Day 6: Compare & Contrast

Goal: Spot patterns across time.

• Exercise: Pick one area (career or relationship). Ask:
  • What’s similar and different compared to last year?
  • What patterns keep repeating?
• Action: Write down 2 changes you’d like to make based on these insights.
• Reflection Question: What does this reveal about my fit and reactions?

Day 7: Solutions-Mining & Growth Goals

Goal: Turn insight into action.

• Exercise: Use the Miracle Question:
  • If a miracle happened tonight and this problem was solved, what would be different tomorrow?
• Action: Write 3 growth goals (learning-focused, not perfection-focused).
• Reflection Question: What’s one small step I can take this week toward each goal?

Pro Tips for Success

• Keep each day’s exercise short (15–20 minutes).
• Use a journal or digital notes to track progress.
• End each day with: “What did I learn today about myself?”

External Self-Awareness

1. What is External Self-Awareness?

External self-awareness is understanding yourself from the outside in—knowing how other people see you.

• It’s about accurately perceiving your impact, behavior, and presence through others’ eyes.
• People high in external self-awareness build stronger, more trusting relationships because they can align their intentions with how they come across.
• Those low in it are often blindsided by feedback or unaware of how their actions affect others.

2. Myths of External Self-Awareness

1. Myth: We can figure out how others see us on our own.
   Reality: Even when we think we understand how people perceive us, we’re often dead wrong. Our assumptions rarely match reality.

2. Myth: Feedback is easy to get and usually honest.
   Reality: Despite the lip service given to “feedback” in workplaces and relationships, candid and objective feedback is rare. Most people avoid giving honest input because of fear, discomfort, or social norms (the “MUM effect”).

3. Myth: Annual performance reviews or casual comments are enough.
   Reality: These are often superficial and fail to provide actionable insights. The people who know us best—peers, colleagues, friends—are usually the least likely to tell us the truth.

3. Truths of External Self-Awareness

• You need others to see yourself clearly.
  External self-awareness requires input from people around you because they observe behaviors and patterns you can’t see.

• Feedback must be actively sought and structured.
  Waiting for feedback doesn’t work. You need deliberate strategies to get honest, useful input on your strengths and blind spots.

• How you receive feedback matters.
  Acting defensively or ignoring feedback kills progress. The book emphasizes learning to hear feedback without “fighting or fleeing” and using it to improve while staying true to yourself.

4. Actions to Improve External Self-Awareness

The book emphasizes that external self-awareness cannot be developed alone—you need input from others. Here are practical steps:

A. Seek Honest Feedback

• Structured Approach: Use tools like 360-degree feedback or ask specific questions (e.g., “What’s one thing I do that helps and one thing that hurts?”).
• Choose the Right People: Ask those who know you well and will be candid.
• Create Safety: Make it clear you value honesty and won’t retaliate.

B. Practice Perspective-Taking

• Imagine how others experience you in meetings, conversations, or decisions.
• Use the “Zoom In, Zoom Out” technique:
  • Zoom in on your own feelings.
  • Zoom out to consider what the other person might be thinking or feeling.

C. Respond to Feedback Constructively

• Avoid “fight or flight” reactions.
• Listen, reflect, and ask clarifying questions.
• Act on feedback while staying true to your values.

D. Use Alarm Clock Events

• Pay attention to moments that reveal how others see you (e.g., surprising feedback, new roles, or conflicts).
• Treat these as learning opportunities rather than threats.

E. Balance Internal and External Views

• Combine what you know about yourself with what others tell you.
• Neither perspective alone is complete—true insight comes from integrating both.

7-Day Action Plan to Improve External Self-Awareness, modeled after the internal plan:

Day 1: Define Your External Awareness Goal

Goal: Clarify why you want to improve.

• Exercise: Write down 2–3 reasons why understanding how others see you matters (e.g., better leadership, stronger relationships).
• Reflection Question: What situations make me wonder how others perceive me?

Day 2: Identify Key Stakeholders

Goal: Know whose perspective matters most.

• Exercise: List 5 people whose opinions impact your success (boss, peers, team, family).
• Action: Circle 2 people you’ll approach for feedback this week.
• Reflection Question: Whose view of me might differ most from my own?

Day 3: Ask for Feedback (Start Small)

Goal: Begin gathering honest input.

• Exercise: Ask one trusted person:
  “What’s one thing I do that helps and one thing that hurts?”
• Action: Listen without defending. Take notes.
• Reflection Question: What surprised me about their response?

Day 4: Practice Perspective-Taking

Goal: See yourself through others’ eyes.

• Exercise: Use the Zoom In, Zoom Out technique:
  • Zoom in: How do I feel in this situation?
  • Zoom out: How might others feel about my behavior?
• Action: Apply this during a meeting or conversation.
• Reflection Question: What did I notice about my impact?

Day 5: Expand Feedback Sources

Goal: Get a broader view.

• Exercise: Ask 2 more people for feedback using the same question as Day 3.
• Action: Compare responses for patterns.
• Reflection Question: What themes are emerging?

Day 6: Respond & Act

Goal: Show you value feedback.

• Exercise: Share with one person what you learned and one change you’ll make.
• Action: Implement that change in a real interaction.
• Reflection Question: How did others react when I adjusted my approach?

Day 7: Review & Plan Forward

Goal: Turn insights into habits.

• Exercise: Summarize your top 3 learnings from the week.
• Action: Set one ongoing practice (e.g., monthly feedback check-in).
• Reflection Question: How will I keep external awareness alive?

Pro Tips

• Keep conversations short and positive.
• Avoid defensiveness—thank people for honesty.
• Combine feedback with your internal insights for a balanced view.

Tabular comparison of Internal vs External Self-Awareness:

Aspect	Internal Self-Awareness	External Self-Awareness
Definition	Understanding yourself from the inside out—your values, passions, aspirations, patterns, reactions, and impact on others.	Understanding yourself from the outside in—how others perceive your behavior, style, and impact.
Focus	Your inner world: thoughts, feelings, motivations, and alignment with goals.	Others’ perspective: how you come across in interactions and relationships.
Benefits	Helps make choices aligned with true self, leading to happiness and fulfillment.	Builds trust, improves relationships, prevents blind spots and surprises.
Common Myths	Myth: Introspection always leads to insight.	Myth: We can figure out how others see us without asking.
Truths	Asking “What” (not “Why”) and practicing mindfulness improves clarity.	Honest feedback and perspective-taking are essential for accuracy.
Key Tools	Mindfulness, journaling (done right), life story analysis, solutions-mining.	Feedback-seeking, Zoom In/Zoom Out perspective-taking, alarm clock events.
Challenges	Rumination, over-analysis, and chasing “absolute truth.”	Fear of feedback, social norms that discourage candor, defensive reactions.
Improvement Actions	Daily reflection, compare & contrast past experiences, set growth goals.	Structured feedback requests, respond constructively, integrate internal + external views.

Summary of Part Four: The Bigger Picture

Part Four of Insight shifts from individual self-awareness to collective and organizational awareness, emphasizing that leaders play a pivotal role in creating cultures of openness and continuous learning. It covers:

Key Themes

1. Self-Aware Leadership Drives Culture

   • Leaders who model vulnerability and transparency set the tone for teams.
   • Example: Alan Mulally’s turnaround at Ford through open reporting and psychological safety.

2. Five Cornerstones of Collective Insight

   • Objectives – Clear goals.
   • Progress – Honest tracking.
   • Processes – Transparent methods.
   • Assumptions – Challenging beliefs.
   • Individual Contributions – Understanding impact.

3. Three Building Blocks for Self-Aware Teams

   • Leader Who Models the Way – Authenticity and openness.
   • Psychological Safety – Teams feel safe to share mistakes and ideas.
   • Ongoing Process – Regular feedback loops and candor practices.

4. Managing Delusional People

   • Lost Causes – Resistant to change; manage your reactions.
   • Aware Don’t Care – Acknowledge limits; set boundaries.
   • Nudgables – Use compassionate nudges to create insight.

5. Lifelong Commitment

• Self-awareness is never “done”; progress matters more than perfection.
• Use small, consistent steps (e.g., 7-Day Insight Challenge).

As a Leader: What Should You Do for Yourself?

• Model Self-Awareness: Share your own learning moments and admit mistakes.
• Seek Feedback Regularly: Use structured methods (360 reviews, loving critics).
• Practice Humility & Self-Acceptance: Balance confidence with openness.
• Apply Tools: Mindfulness, reframing, and “What Not Why” questions to stay grounded.
• Act on Insight: Turn awareness into behavior change and growth goals.

For Your Teams & Organization

• Create Psychological Safety: Encourage candor without fear of punishment.
• Normalize Feedback: Implement structured feedback rituals (e.g., Candor Challenge, Dinner of Truth).
• Build Transparent Processes: Share metrics openly; celebrate honesty (like Mulally applauding a “red” slide).
• Challenge Assumptions: Use pre-mortems and reality checks in decision-making.
• Foster Continuous Learning: Encourage reflection, growth goals, and openness to change.

Leadership Playbook

Leadership Playbook - Building Self-Aware Leaders and Teams 

Visual Framework: Three Layers of Self-Awareness 

Leader · Team · Organization 

Leader: Feedback, Humility, Mindfulness, Growth Goals 

Team: Psychological Safety, Candor Rituals, Structured Feedback 

Organization: Transparent Processes, Assumption Checks, Continuous Learning Culture 

Self-Aware Leader 

Key Actions: 

• Model vulnerability and openness 
• Seek feedback regularly (360 reviews, loving critics) 
• Practice humility and self-acceptance 
• Apply mindfulness and ·What Not Why· questions 
• Set learning-focused growth goals 
• Act on insights consistently
• Share learning moments with your team 

Self-Aware Team 

Key Actions:

• Create psychological safety 
• Normalize feedback through rituals (Candor Challenge, Dinner of Truth) 
• Encourage perspective-taking and empathy
• Build trust through transparency
• Celebrate honesty and learning
• Use structured feedback loops
• Foster team reflection sessions 

Self-Aware Organization 

Key Actions: 

• Build transparent processes and share metrics openly 
• Challenge assumptions with pre-mortems and reality checks
• Encourage continuous learning and growth
• Promote candor at all levels
• Align culture with values and purpose
• Implement leadership development programs
• Recognize and reward self-awareness behaviors 

Detailed Checklist for Implementation 

Leader Checklist: 

1. Schedule monthly feedback sessions 

2. Practice mindfulness daily 

3. Share one learning moment per week 

4. Set quarterly growth goals 

5. Use ·What Not Why· in reflections 

6. Seek loving critics for honest input 

7. Model humility in meetings 

Team Checklist: 

1. Establish psychological safety norms 

2. Hold monthly candor rituals 

3. Encourage team reflection 

4. Share progress openly 

5. Celebrate honesty 

6. Train on feedback skills 

7. Use structured feedback tools 

Organization Checklist: 

1. Implement transparent reporting 

2. Conduct pre-mortems for major projects 

3. Launch continuous learning programs 

4. Promote candor in leadership 

5. Align culture with values 

6. Reward self-awareness behaviors 

7. Review assumptions quarterly